Values: What They Are, Why They Matter, And How They Can Transform Your Life
As a busy mum, it’s easy to feel like life is all about meeting everyone else’s needs - keeping the kids fed, staying on top of schedules, and handling a never-ending list of tasks. But what if I told you that reconnecting with your core values - the principles that matter most to you - could help you feel more grounded, fulfilled, and in control, no matter how chaotic life gets?
Let’s explore why values matter, what they are, and how understanding yours can help you live with intention and more fulfilment.
Why Do Values Matter?
Values play a crucial role in well-being and decision-making because they act as internal guides that help align your actions with what truly matters to you. When people make decisions that reflect their core values (such as family, health, or integrity), they experience a sense of purpose, fulfilment, and authenticity, which boosts their overall well-being. Conversely, decisions that conflict with one’s values can lead to stress, dissatisfaction, and inner conflict. By staying true to your values, you can navigate life’s choices with greater clarity, resilience, and personal satisfaction.
What Are Values?
Values are deeply held beliefs or principles that guide a person’s actions and decisions. They represent what is most important to someone in life, such as honesty, compassion, or freedom.
Unlike goals, which are specific, measurable outcomes that can be achieved, values are more like guiding directions that influence behaviour over time. Goals can be accomplished or crossed off a list, while values are ongoing and not tied to a specific end point - they shape how we live and the kind of person we aspire to be.
Another word you may have heard used, alongside values and goals, is intentions. Intentions are more about how we want to show up as we work toward our goals. For example, I might have an intention “to be fully present and engaged when I am with my children today.” Intentions bridge values and goals by offering a way to actively bring values into daily actions.
A helpful metaphor written by Dr Russ Harris suggests that values are like a compass. A compass gives you direction and keeps you on track when you’re traveling. And our values do the same for the journey of life. We use them to choose the direction in which we want to move and to keep us on track as we go.
So when you act on a value, it’s like heading west. No matter how far west you travel, you never get there, there’s always further to go. But goals are like the things you try to achieve on your journey, they’re like the sights you want to see or the mountains you want to climb while you keep on traveling west.
Discovering Your Values
If you’re not sure what your values are, try this simple exercise:
Imagine you have an entire day completely free - no work, no responsibilities, no interruptions. This day is entirely yours to design.
⋒ How would you spend it?
⋒ Where would you go?
⋒ Who would you be with (or would you prefer solitude)?
⋒ What activities would you do?
⋒ What sounds, feelings, or experiences would fill your day?
Take a moment to reflect on your answers. Your choices likely reflect your core values - whether it’s spending quality time with loved ones, pursuing creativity, or enjoying peace and relaxation. These are the things that matter most to you and show how you’d naturally choose to spend your precious time.
Living Aligned With Your Values
Understanding your core values allows you to live with more intention. When life feels overwhelming, as it often does for parents, your values can be a grounding force - reminding you of what’s truly important and helping you let go of what isn’t.
For example:
If you value connection, you might prioritise a family movie night over cleaning the house.
If you value self-care, you might schedule a walk or quiet time even amidst a chaotic work schedule.
Living in alignment with your values doesn’t mean life will suddenly become easy. But it does mean you’ll feel more authentic, fulfilled, and confident in the choices you make.
Final Thoughts
In the whirlwind of motherhood, it’s easy to lose sight of yourself and what truly matters to you. But by discovering and staying connected to your core values, you can create a life that feels more meaningful and intentional - not just for you but for your entire family.
What are your core values? Take some time to reflect on them this week and notice how they can guide your decisions and actions.
Want to read more about values?
If you found this useful, you may also like to read these journal articles:
Further Support
If you’d like support clarifying your core values or making meaningful changes to your life so that you live in greater alignment with the areas which matter most to you, get in touch to discuss how we could work together.
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